Think it's because we're so awesome?

I seem to say this a lot, but that's probably because it's true: MY HUSBAND IS INSANE. You may or may not have seen this, his first attempt at doll porn. Well.

Last night he asked if I'd seen anything interesting in the computer room. I hadn't noticed anything, mostly because I'd popped in, grabbed the laptop and popped out again. I was about to go to bed, so I didn't think about it until I went in to get the laptop this evening.

Never one to rest on his laurels, Hubs!monkey got even more creative this time around. He's incorporating props now, doll stands, to be exact. I'm pretty sure the Momoko doll people wouldn't be pleased. Cut-tagged for the modest among you.

( God help us all. )

Life with hubs!monkey is many things, but it's never boring. ;-)

So, Hubs!monkey went to the grocery store a while ago and came home with something new and different. A camouflage melon, so named because of the mottled green skin. It's also known as a frog skin melon so yeah, I don't think you'd be encouraged to pick one up on the strength of the moniker alone. Obviously aware of this, the Giant Eagle bigwigs saw fit to post food ladies in the produce section with freebies of this melon. Hubs tasted it, liked it, brought one home.

OH MY GOD, with the deliciousness. It's hard to explain the flavor, which was very elusive. Kind of like honeydew, but not, kind of a hint of a whisper of a nuance of cantaloupe, but way not. *Very* juicy, like, juice-in-the-bottom-of-the-bowl juicy, and crazy sweet with the texture and firm softness of a ripe honeydew. Seriously, this stuff is sell-your-kid good.

We slurped this melon down like starved monkeys on crack. I proclaimed it my new favorite melon, and we agreed that a new foodstuff had been added to our regular rotation. He went off to putter a bit, and I returned to the Project Runway marathon. About a half hour after the feast, hubs walked in, mildly indignant, waving the checkout tape in one hand. "They charged me 14.95 for that melon! I'm going back!" He'd mentioned how relatively inexpensive it was, so he was a bit irritated that he now had to go back to the store to correct their mistake.

About a half hour later, hubs walked in and said, "That price was right! I can't believe it!" Turns out that unlike most melons, it's not priced per piece, but by the pound. The woman at the service desk very kindly offered to let him return the melon, but hubs admitted that it was a little too late for that. ;-)

I don't know if I've mentioned this or not, but my husband is a world class goof. Want proof? Follow the cut to see what happened to my doll collection one afternoon. He was snickering softly in the living room, wondering when I'd notice. ;-)

( husband!monkey is the craziest peoples. )

Anyone want a husband? You can have mine. He ordered digital cable, had it hooked up yesterday, and idiot that I am, didn't insist that he check the VCR connections until...oh, 6:15pm this evening. He screwed around with our FIVE - yes, FRIGGIN' FIVE - remotes, thought he had it, no! He didn't! Yes, it's taping! No...wait!

After about a half hour of this (and I'm watching the pre-show getting angrier and angrier), he concludes that he has it all figured out. Taping commences. I'm happy (don't quite believe it, but I'm hoping), so I come in to hop online til the main event.

Hubs just came in to tell me that, oops, it hasn't been taping after all. I'm so pissed right now I can't even see straight. I'm not even going to go into our long, brain-twisting history with friggin' VCRs in this household. I'm tired of this stupid shit, and SWEAR TO GOD, about ** <--- this close to divorcing his stupid ass.

Am I upset? If looks could kill he'd be a smoldering pile of ash right now. And yeah, it comes on this weekend, but that's not the point. I'm tired of every single taping opportunity becoming some kind of "is it hooked up properly?" event. AAARRRGGGHH!!!!!!!

Edit: Lest anyone misunderstand, I'm not calling him stupid because of the bizarre hookup - I certainly couldn't do it at all, much less fumble through it and eventually get it right - no, I'm just tired of the drama that *always* surrounds taping.

I love him, I'm just VERY, VERY, VERY unhappy with him right now.

VERY unhappy.